Ladies and gentlemen of the Flunk, I bring you…statistics! Through careful cultivation of sources, I have learned that there is a 65 percent chance that Flunk Day will occur before May 7. As any time after then would be late based on historical trends, this makes logical sense. Prediction deemed reliable.
(However, as has been noted before, the planners are really toying with us with regards to a late or early Flunk this year. The friar email got sent out early, freshmen suite meetings happened early, and the theme was announced early. At the same time, both the length of the term and the weather would seem to indicate a later date. The writer can reach no concrete conclusions at this time.)
If you’ve been on the Wiki Fire much today, you’ve likely seen the flurry of posts that would seem to indicate that Flunk Day is tomorrow. This is true, of course, because Flunk Day is always tomorrow. Still, the likelihood that tomorrow, April 15, is THE tomorrow is not high. Cindy forgetting to let you know to return the Wal-Mart card? Cindy has forgotten a lot this year because she is doing the work of two people. (Thanks, Jil Gates.) A surplus of cookies? Pics or it didn’t happen.
So, we have basically learned this week that a) an early Flunk makes sense and is backed by empirical evidence, although said evidence is not overwhelmingly strong; b) Flunk Day is always tomorrow; c) but tomorrow is not that tomorrow.
And now, to turn to our old friend, the events calendar (I’m nixing this upcoming week entirely, because reasons):
- April 22: not Flunk Day. Professor from California coming to give lecture.
- April 29: not Flunk Day. Another professor from California giving a lecture. What’s with California? A Flunk clue???? I leave that classification up to you, dear reader.
- April 30: probably not Flunk Day, due to Caxton Club event.
- May 2: probably not Flunk Day, due to Caxton Club event.
- May 7: my Honors defense. God help us all.